|Cast: Corin Nemec,
Director(s): Danny Lerner
Website: Click Here
"Have you tried saturating it with deuterium?"
--"Deuterium? No... Deuteriummmm......Of course!!"
Stick that in your science pipe and smoke it, Total Recall!
...annnnnnnd stock footage of sub, then "Jacques Cousteau Presents" footage of Great White attack, monkey reaction shot, star wipe and fade to black.
I don't know what was better, Vanessa Angel delivering her line twice in an apparent editing flub or Jeff delivering his line "THIS IS WHAT MY LIFE HAS COME TO!?!?" in an apparent lapse in reason.
Either way, it was enjoyed by all (especially when coupled with a HIGHLY multi-topped Pizza Pizza and a bottle of Amaretto)
Shine on you crazy diamonds!
P.S. I THINK I fell asleep during the middle part, woke up and STILL followed the movie to the end....
(and Monkey Reaction shot...and...)
Attrocious. Nothing redeeming about it, save the pretty girls who were cast, and the fact that 90% of the crew had surnames ending in "ov". (Apparently filmed in Bulgaria).
The worst part is that Mike insists on choose such dribble, and then falls asleep half way through! How dare he!?!?!?
However, the pizza was decent, Kerri's cookies were chocolaty, and the popcorn was free-flowing.
Fuck the security guards!
I don't understand how Mikey can give this any more than one star, much less FOUR (!!) WTF??? Mikey, they didn't even have any requisite boob shots! Even 'Alien 3000' had that!
This was bad, just bad.
Mikey fell asleep fer chrissakes!
This movie should've been called "Raging Stock Footage of Sharks". And submarines. It's like nothing was filmed live, and very little was filmed with toys in a tub. Every aspect was poorly done, from acting and story to editing (the above mentioned Vanessa Angel line repeat) and music (lots of opera, to instill a sense of grandeur and epic scope to the shark scenes I suppose, but totally unnecessary.)
Oh yes, did I mention that the sharks growl like lions? A guy is standing by an underwater window, a shark swims by and you hear 'GRRRRR!!!'
People are swimming around, a school of sharks swim up to them and 'GRRRRR!!!'
Also, a 'scientist' notes at one point from the underwater lab that there are at least 12 species of sharks out there, but we only see the stock footage of great whites.
And not to keep harping on the stock footage thing, but at least use DIFFERENT stock footage throughout the film! We kept seeing the same stock re-used for sharks biting people, sharks biting cables, sharks submerging, and submarines diving. And sometimes it was the same footage put into a mirror image, so it was backwards, like we wouldn't notice. How many ways can we use this footage? Let's try a negative image! They won't notice!
What else? Well, write if you get work, Corbin Bersen! Arnie Becker woulda sued everyone's ass for this mess. Of course, being a 'star', he didn't have to leave the space of the one submarine set he was on.
Oh, I almost forgot about the aliens! No, I'm not kidding. The movie begins in outer space where the two worst spaceship drivers ever crash into each other (Hey, it's space! Where did that spaceship appear, from out of nowhere? Look out! CRASH!), and a pod cylinder thingy falls to Earth and crashes exactly on a small ship in the Bermuda Triangle. What randomnly precise aim, and terribly bad luck for that ship! The cylinder sinks to the bottom and is the source for making the sharks 'raging'. (Great title guys. Way to try.)
The aliens reappear at the end of the film to retrieve their cylinder. They look like the Chinese alien government dudes in 'Phantom Menace' at the beginning. At the end they look more like 'Alien', oh, and they can breathe under water.
This film also reminded me of 'Resident Evil: Apocalypse' in the way of pacing. 'Resident Evil: Apocalypse' is a zombie movie that forgets about the zombies halfway through, to focus on a Doom-ish creature chasing the cast around the city. The cast eventually get to their destination and, oh yeah! The zombies! Forgot about those!
Well 'Raging Sharks' has lots of sharks at first, then introduces a sub-plot involving an evil Special Ops agent on board the sub-lab trying to kill everyone, there are no sharks for a long time, they fight the agent, they leave the sub-lab, and oh yeah! Sharks! Forgot about those!
And the plot to destroy the sharks at the end....pure genius (not).
"Captain, to save Mike, you have to fire a torpedo!"
"Fire it where?"
"At the sharks!"
"But it'll destroy the lab and everything around us....well, okay!"
Oh, and after the explosion, the agent guy is still alive (with a harpoon in his back, nonetheless) just so we can watch him get torn apart by stock footage.
And Corbin Bersen reaction shot, and star-wipe, and cut!
So, did I rant a novel about this film or what?
Oh, and there are explosions on the submarine for no reason and for no apparent cause, except to maybe show off the 'ALERT' and 'FIRE' warnings that appear on the sub's screens with all the glory of a font from a Commodore Vic 20.
And Corbin Bernsen reaction shot.....
Not to suffer the same wrath/fate as "Alien 3000" but I did not (NOT (NNNNNOOOTTT)) "insist" on renting this movie. We went to Rogers with the sole purpose of renting a cheesy B-Movie (at least this was my understanding when "Manos" was our ultimate goal...but I digress).
Jeff said, AND I QUOTE: "Bah! Rent whatever, as long as it's not from a Super-hero comic..." I picked up this gem and Mitch said, "Oh yeah!" or something to that effect. We continued along the aisle, saw nothing better and ALL agreed on the film.
I would like to OFFER to share the blame, SIRS!
And I TOTALLY didn't realize I fell asleep!! I apologize! Chalk it up to being up to 2:00AM the previous night watching Survivor, a long boring day at work and then 2 sets of kids' swimming lessons. Eating late didn't help, and a large glass of Amaretto just SEALED THE DEAL!
I didn't realize I fell asleep until I was watching the "making of" bonus footage and noted scenes involving the attack of the Special Ops guy that I hadn't seen.....WHOOPS!
Great host, aren't I?
MIke: "Chips anyone? I have some onion dip here too, would you like som --- ZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzz"
Wow... sure looks like I missed a rootin' tootin' good time!
Ha Ha (a la Nelson)
Mikey!!! You're missing the point! We're not blaming anyone, it was a shitty movie, and yes we all agreed on picking it up (However, in my defence I was just being passive regarding movie choices that night; it wasn't like we were likely to get something *mildly* intelligent).
But the point is this. It is not that you helped choose the movie, but that you gave it FOUR STARS!!!
Are you insane?!
Funny how one of the first things PapaMikey wrote, was "the film was enjoyed by all".....doesn't sound anything like that!
Maybe when Mitch & I come in, in January we can try to get Manos.
Mmmmm, I think the PIZZA and Junior Mints were enjoyed by all...
As for my rebuttal to Jeff's rebuttal, I must point him to his reviews:
"The worst part is Mike INSISTS on choosing such dribble..."
and heading his review for "The Holy Mountain"
"Fuck Mike and HIS shark movies..."
I may be daft, but it sounds to me like I'm being looped into the responsibility for this fiasco...its like Alien-3000 all over again, though less agressive and not as many open death-threats...
I say someone else picks movie for the B-fests from now on...
Ya know, ya might want to buffer your choices with the occasional good movie to raise other people's opinion of you! Otherwise you'll always get blamed, even when decided by comittee. I still blame you and the Z-man for Freaks of Nature 4.
Hence my pick of watching "Hotel Rwanda" AFTER I watched "Alone in the Dark"....PUNK.
I don't get no respect...
Once AGAIN!!! Mike! You miss the point I was trying to make. Yes, you were instrumental in choosing the film. Yes, I was passive in accepting the choice. So, no I do not blame you for this movie choice. (However, face it, if it were just me and meotch doing the renting, Raging Sharks would not have been on the radar screen...). I willingly admit openly on this public forum that I did not make any overt objections to the renting of this film. I figured when in Barrhaven, do as the Barrhavenites do.
BUT, and here comes my point... again...
It was that you gave that piece of dribble FOUR STARS!!!!
Are you, or are you not, completely out of your mind?! Anything more than 1/2 a star for that crap deserves serious explanation. Moreover, if it really was such a four star movie, explain how you fell asleep! No movie worth four stars should induce you into slumber!
Raging Sharks = Raging Jeff (= Raging Bull?)
"Poke-a Poke-a Poke-a" - M. Burns
I gave that movie 4 stars because I SAID I would give it four stars. For the same reason you guys bomb movies you haven't seen.
Further, have you SEEN a better example of an Alien Orange-crystal rage-induced, lion-roaring multi-species (that all look like Great Whites) stock footage shark movie?
I think not!
This is, therefore, "BEST OF BREED", hence FOUR STARS, sugar...
P.S. YES! I AM copying my inane logic from YOUR POT-leader: Dr. Jason King
Mikey, you are off your rocker!
I must agree with Jeff, we all accept the blame, that's not the issue.
But 4 STARS?!?!???? Are you mad?
First of all, I don't bomb movies I haven't seen.
Secondly, when did you vow to give this 4 stars no matter what???
And thirdly, echoing Jeff's previous comment, YOU FELL ASLEEP! A 4 star movie shouldn't put you out, kids' swimming lessons or not.
I mean, at least 'Holy Mountain' left us with food for thought for a few days....but THIS! Oy!
...and shark stock footage reaction shot, and cut!
They make pretty convicing arguments, Mikey! You better watch what you say next. And remember: the PLONT leadership isn't a position for life. It will eventually be up for a vote!
Ah, you can take your 4-star raging shark stock footage and sleepy time nightmares and stick'em up your collective arses...like a metaphorical "Space Docking" as it were...
Oh, and I've got you PLONT membership RIGHT HERE:
No one who loved the PLONT would say that....I vote for impeachment
Hmmm... Interesting! It appears Mikey has already jumped to the other side! Look at his icon, it's Mr. Burns, not Homer! He's already a POT!
So that's the way it is, eh Mikey?
Oh well, I nominate Jeff as new PLONT leader, seeing as how he'll be hosting the Manos-fest.
still havn't seen this much talked about shark flick, but found this pic on the net
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