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BTDesign Award
Anacondas : The Hunt for the Blood Orchid (2004)

Cast: Johnny Messner, Matthew Marsden, Morris Chestnut, Salli Richardson, Eugene Byrd, Nicholas Gonzalez, Karl Yune

Director(s): Dwight H. Little

Language: English

Genre: Horror

Website: Click Here


Some greedy scientists discover the "blood orchid" holds the secret to immortality, blooms once every seven years, and only grows deep in the jungles of giant python-infested Borneo. Quickly, an expedition is formed but it's the rainy season and the only boat they can charter is a leaky barge belonging to unshaven Captain Johnson (Johnny Mesner). The cute blonde in the expedition (KaDee Strickland) digs Johnson's stoic demeanor, while her scientist boss (Matthew Marsden) tries to win her through... [Get complete synopsis]


Papamikey wrote on August 3, 2005, 11:05 pm
Ah yes..."Greedy scientists"...

Another character type that I CANNOT STAND. They discover "the pharmacudical equivalent to the fountain of youth" and come within 1 mile of acquiring it for study and one of their expidition bites it (no pun...oh yeah, and *SPOILER WARNING* I forgot...in case you DIDN'T think at least ONE of their team of, like, 10 people AREN'T going to be ingested by giant CGI snakes).

An orchid that can save/prolongue the lives of MILLIONS of people is abandoned because ONE person gets eaten by a local species of snake. One would call this "acceptable loss" but the story of course takes a pure moral approach in that the lives/safety of the expedition FAR outweighs the RISK (which they ALL knew coming in) of pushing on to meet the goal they've studied for all their lives.

That's the football equivalent of taking the ball to 3 yards from the end-zone with 4 seconds to play in a 21-21 tie at the Superbowl and then calling it quits because a member of the marching band got sent home with the flu.

I TOTALLY sided with the "Evil scientist" who was hell bent on COMPLETING his mission (not only to the jungle but IN LIFE), he TOTALLY was right when he said this is the SINGLE greatest discovery in the HISTORY of mankind and was worth a couple of sacrifices...

And it didn't make it any easier that the lead voice for the side arguing an escape to safety was a blatant J-Lo rip-off with a bitch attitude with no redeeming qualities at all....

Maybe I'm OVER analyzing this C-movie (with an A-movie budget) and I haven't even DELVED into the bad pseudo-science they flip off about snakes...but I'll save that for a better movie, like Boa vs. Python 2 : The Farty Soap Years!

Papa Mikey!
kimberly wrote on August 4, 2005, 9:21 am
I liked it.. just a sit back @ watch, no real thought involved. The snakes were so fake looking.. i mean the could of threw in a real one for good measure. I actually liked it better than the frst... sorta.

MasterWoodsman wrote on August 4, 2005, 12:58 pm
Unlike you two, I don't go out looking for crappy sequels to crappy movies. But sometimes they find me.....
kimberly wrote on August 4, 2005, 3:02 pm
I enjoy crappy sequels.... there's a great!
Papamikey wrote on August 5, 2005, 9:34 am

"Oh, I don't go out looking for crappy movies...blah blah blah" (picture me doing the Francis)

"I just rent ones with Corey Haim and Michael Ironside RIGHT OUT OF THE BOX."

Need I remind you your PLONT membership is currently under review....?!

Deril wrote on August 7, 2005, 8:08 pm
This was bad, bad & bad. (not that the original was good).
Saw it on the dish, and really couldn't keep myself too interested.
MasterWoodsman wrote on August 8, 2005, 8:04 am
Wait, you think it's triple-bad, yet you gave it two stars???
Deril wrote on August 8, 2005, 1:33 pm
Yes, and I stand by it. I usually only give 1 star or bomb when I expect something to be good, and it ends up dissapointing me. In this case, I was not dissapointed. I knew it would be bad & it delivered right on. Therefore, I was able to sit back and just let my mind melt away. I didn't over analyze the nonsense of it. Does that make any more sense? Anywho..giant snakes are neat-o = 1 star. Girls splashing around in the water wearing white tang-tops = star #2. That's it.
Papamikey wrote on August 8, 2005, 1:40 pm
"I like this guy..." - El Guapo
Deril wrote on August 8, 2005, 6:07 pm
"It's a sweater!"
MasterWoodsman wrote on August 9, 2005, 12:06 am
Bunch of stinkin' internet low-lives!

To the POT are judged all of ye!

motleymitch wrote on August 9, 2005, 2:31 pm
"They're funny guys! Only kill one of them."
motleymitch wrote on December 6, 2005, 3:00 am
This was the same movie as the first, so I will rate it thusly. It was bad? Yeah, but I watched it on the dish with my brother and we enjoyed ourselves, trashing it all the while.
The plot was the same, but they couldn't get any known actors to participate (the only name I recognized was Morris Chestnut....who? exactly.....and a J.Lo look-alike, sorta...)
Anyways, it was funny because it had a monkey, and monkeys are funny. I kept predicting every shot of this movie, much to my brother's amusement. It was along the lines of, "Okay....jerk gets eaten, and monkey reaction shot, and star-wipe, and cut!"
There were so many monkey reaction shots, it was laughable, yet I feel like every movie would be upped a notch if it had a monkey reaction shot.
Monkeys are comedy gold.
Deril wrote on December 6, 2005, 3:06 pm
Comedy gold!! I'm STILL laughing out loud. I honestly thought that Mitch Directed this movie, as he called it scene by scene and didn't miss a beat. He said "ok, jerk guy dies, monkey reaction shot, star wipe and cut". Literally 2 seconds later....jerk guy died, then they pan to the monkey reacting to the death and I was on the floor. Then they star wipe out to the next scene...I lost it man!! Either this movie was way too simple, or Mitch is a genius....discuss
motleymitch wrote on December 8, 2005, 2:29 am
A little of column A, a little of column B.
motleymitch wrote on December 8, 2005, 2:32 am
..And Monkey Reaction Shot....and cut!

Papamikey wrote on December 8, 2005, 9:15 am
That's from MVP - Most Valuable Primate...

Speaking of monkeys...(or is it Monkies?), there's like 22 of these MVP movies where they put this poor monkey through EVERY damn sport known to man...

...I wonder what the loons at PETA think?

MVP - Monkey Jai Alai!

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