|Cast: Benjamin Walker, Dominic Cooper, Anthony Mackie, Rufus Sewell, Mary Elizabeth Winstead, Marton Csokas, Alan Tudyk, Jimmi Simpson, Joseph Mawle, Robin McLeavy, Erin Wasson, Alex Lombard|
Director(s): Timur Bekmambetov
Genre: Action / Disaster
"I know vampires aren't real, but how historically accurate is this film?"- Deril
And so begins our foray into a terrible, terrible film about Abraham Lincoln, who's mother got killed by a vampire, and who solemnly vows revenge on her killer and his kind.
That's all fine and dandy - forget about how ridiculous the premise is, this is just a bad film, period.
First of all, forget the vampire/action stuff for a sec - the film gets bogged down with scenes of Lincoln meeting and courting Mary Todd, going about his political career, discussing slavery, etc...but this is all done very History 101 style and the acting overall is just preposterously bad. Now, I don't expect to watch this film and come out of it with a great understanding of Lincoln and his politics (I would've LOVED to have watched this with Rob), but the film played out like one of those Will Ferrell 'Drunk History' segments with all the phony beards, cheap set design, and lousy acting that go along with it (but not played for laughs, disappointingly).
As for the action/vampire/FX aspects, there's a lot of slo-mo Matrix-y style stuff (I can't believe that's still being used, it was played out like, 15 years ago), and there are a few action sequences (on the horses, on the train) that are just TOO over-the-top, even for a silly film like this.
The chartacters, especially Lincoln, don't seem to remember key things, like using silver as a vampire killing device. Lincoln knows that silver is a weakness for vampires (he fashions his own special axe for this purpose early in the film), and then we flash-forward to decades later when he's in the White House and trying to figure out how to defeat a vampire army moving up from the South (yes, they get 'historical' with the civil war, don't ask), and he's having dinner and looking at his cutlery and then *boom* he's like, "I know! We can make silver bullets for our troops!" Really, dimwit? Didn't you realize this when you were a teen? How did you get elected?
The main villain (frighteningly named 'Adam' - who names these guys? Look out, it's Adam the vampire! And his sidekick, Steve!) of course has ample opportunity to kill Lincoln thorughout the film and does not, lingering and talking as many stupid villains do.
In summation, don't expect a good vampire film, any historical accuracy, decent acting/dialogue, or even believable make-up.
You can expect at least one horse to get thrown across a field though.
Yes, pretty shitty indeed. When Mitch mentioned (while watching) that it was like an episode of Drunken History he hit the nail right on the head. Story aside, it was horribly done on every aspect.
I kept wishing that Lincoln would shout out, "PARTY ON DUDES!!"
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