|Cast: Logan Lerman, Uma Thurman, Pierce Brosnan, Sean Bean|
Director(s): Chris Columbus
Genre: Not Selected / Unknown
Website: Click Here
FINNNALLLY took the boy to see this (long story) and we BOTH enjoyed thoroughly. It exceeded my expectations - was quite entertaining and fun...kinda like Harry Potter on speed with GREEK GODS!
I've always been a sucka for Greek Mythology (my guilty pleasure...well, ONE of them...) so having a movie full of Greek monsters is a-O-K with me!
And Uma Thurman as Medusa...mmmmmmm....KEWL!
Also also, there's no ANNOYING little kiddies which was always a problem with the first few Harry Potter's (i.e. a bit TOO childish)...these Demigods are already in their heavy-snogging pre-adult years!
If I had ANY complaint - it was the HEAVY underuse of Percy's mom (played by the hot Hot HOT Catherine Keener) - kinda reminded me of the mom in Phantom Menace...tacked on and not seeming to "care" much that her son is whisked off at too young an age by a centaur and a satyr to fight Hades and Zeus....minor quibble.
F'ing COOOL CGI work, too! SEEMLESS! Pierce Brosnon actually LOOKS like he has a horse's arse...and the satyr really LOOKS like a freaking SATYR!
And Rosario Dawson as Persephone....mmmmmmmm. *COUGH* Sorry.
Bring on "Sea of Monsters"!
Why is it that everyone seems to think that Catherine Keener is so damn hot. I just don't get it. She's really kinda average or a little below in my mind.
On a side bar. Never heard of the book(s). Saw previews and i though visually it looked awful.
Catherine Keener LOOKS and ACTS like a woman who's actually aproachable and someone you would want to meet/hang-out with/date. As opposed to simple skin-deep hotties like Jessica Alba and Jessica Biel who look/act like stuck-up bee-otches and probably wouldn't piss on you if you were on fire.
As for the book - not surprising you haven't read it as it (like Harry Potter) is written for the tween-set - 9-13 year olds...
As an aside:
I took THE BOY to see it at the downtown "Empire Theatres" which I had never been to (even though, as the crow flies, it's the closest theatre to my house...). They charge full price but the quality of the theatre reminds me of the old Leows theatre in Montreal - run down, badly maintained - seats crooked and poorly set, no cup holders...which put me off at first.
But - before the movie started, I took THE BOY down to the Shoppers on the first level of the mall so he could choose a package of sweets (which I intended to smuggle into the theatre). Upon returning, I didn't have to worry about smuggling ANYTHING as there was NO-one at the door...hell, I could have walked in without a ticket. I also noticed that there was NO-one manning ANY of the doors to ANY of the theatres...alot like the Dorval theatre of yore...I could have seen FOUR movies that night for FREE!!
Note to self: go back to Empire Theatres to see FOUR movies. FTW!!
As a frequent visitor to the Empire downtown, I will add that on average you get a more "serious" level of clientele there, which means - on average - less people talking through the movies.
Besides the Bytowne, it is my favorite place to see a movie in this town. It may be old fashioned, but it works. Also, they tend to show a more serious line up of films than the googleplexes. Plus, parking is free underground with a movie ticket.
Strange - 'cuz I had a bimbette behind me...we sat in the upper level of the theatre in a small section towards the back (more leg room in the front seats) - we were there early so we got the front row. Others came in and sat DIRECTLY behind us even though the ENTIRE lower level was free...ODDDDD!!! And then still others packed into our little area (like lemmings) until it was almost full while the lower level had maybe 5 people for 200 empty seats. WWEEEIRD!!
So this "lady" talked through the whole movie and giggled at cheesy jokes (aimed for kids).
Ex: Zeus and Posidon meet at Empire State Building, initially arriving in Titan-size and mysteriously shrinking down until they meet together as humans.
Bimbette behind me: "OOOOOoohh! LOOK!! They can shrink!!"
I suppose this is not a good cross-section of the usual clientele as this is most likely not the typical movie in this theatre.
Is it always so poorly manned by staff who LOOK like they couldn't give more than a rat's ass about people sneaking in...??!
AND WHERE do you park??! I saw the sign but couldn't find the entrance to the parking lot...
Really mIke? REALLY???
Well maybe it's just me, but this movie really, really sucked. I don't even know where to start.
First off, it's a total rip-off of the Harry Potter series so this is what I'll compare it too.
The casting was awful. Pierce, Uma, Sean Bean, Katherine Keener (who I'm sorry to say is really not hawt at all)
were all in it for the paycheck and i felt like they walked their way through this story and were really not involved
on any level at all.
Medusa was not at all threatening and could have been done in a much cooler way (see Clash of the Titans: original or
remake). In fact, I found all of the monsters quite easy to beat, including Hades who was really not that great of a
villain (when he should be the ultimate villain).
I LOVE Rosario Dawson, but found this one of her worst performances and she actually didn't look very good.
As for the CGI being "seemless" Fuck that ! This is some of THE WORST CGI I've seen in recent years. I really can't
believe you thought it was well done Mike.
Back to the Harry Potter comparison for a minute. One of the best thing about the Potter books/movies is that there is
tremendous character developement and build up. This movie had NONE of that...AT ALL!
He meets the girl for 5 minutes and they are best friends and off on an adventure???
Also, the teens are MUCH more annoying that the young Potter kids. I found myself not caring at all about any of the
characters and I just wanted everyone to die. I think it would have been much better to see him actually develop his
skills over some time rather than just instantly being "the man".
On another note, although this is hard for me to explain in writing,the whole "training" scene was so stupid. It was
lots of random people running all over, just randomly swinging swords (with awful coriography). All the while, Brosnan
just stands around yelling "keep training everyone". No teachers, no skills being taught, just "training". I found this
to be especially annoying and idiotic.
I won't even mention how the "punk-ass-teen" that is Percy Jackson doesn't even seem the least bit upset when his mom dies,
however, the entire movie is then based on his determination to get her back from hades. ARRRRGH! The frustration.
I really, REALLY encourage Mitch to watch this. I would love to see his point of view because I think he'd just go nuts
with rage watching this stupid, stupid movie.
PS. The Satyr was SO SO cliche. I hated that all is dialogue was "ghetto". "Oh no you di-int" etc.
My final thought. The whole movie is spent searching for this oh-so powerful Lightning bolt of Zeus. In the end it's not even that powerful and does about the same damage as your average bazooka.
All these points are valid - and I would've been the same way had I not seen it with my son who had just finished reading the entire series and was SO stoked to see the film...I fed off of his energy and felt some kind of empathetic excitement for the movie.
But now that you've pointed out all the glaring short-comings, yes I can see how someone not at all associated with the books can loathe the film.
Let me see if I can put this in perspective: Just imagine taking your kids to see Max and Ruby : THE MOVIE! YES, the movie stainks like poo-doo, but you'd enjoy it 'cuz your kids enjoy it.
And I DON'T need Mitch to see it, I MYSELF am placing this on his Dances With Wolves list!!!
And I STAND firmly by my point that the CGI was flawless - they had the satyr and the centaur walking about with Pierce Brosnan's upper torso and not ONCE did I think it was edit'ed or green-screened in any way, shape or form.
This doesn't make my DWW list because it hasn't pre-angered me. Though I would not actively seek out seeing this, I would probably give it a chance as I have given most Harry Potter films a chance (and I don't like those films, or the general subject matter).
Magic is so lame.
Mikey, I really have to argue your point about the CGI. I just can't believe you thiought it was SO seamless. I really thought it was so terribly done, even Brosnan & the Satyr...awful.
I do understand the "seeing it with the boy" point. I actually thought about it, so I'll give that to you, b ut still, 3.5 stars?? This was no Eyeborgs
Sorry. You say Catherine Keener isn't HAWTE and you want me to respect your argument?
First of all, that's a lousy pic of Keener ˆ.
OK, should I bother wasting my time tearing apart a tween flick? Fuck yes!! What an absolute and utter piece of condescending shit. This is Greek mythology 101 as depicted as an after-school special, acted by a high school drama class, and written by a 9-year old. I agree with all of Deril's points and then some. My only regret is not having watched it with him to share the anger.
Oh, a sassy, jive-talking sidekick/satyr! That'll bring in the tweens!
This film does a disservice to its target audience by dumbing everything down and assuming they have to be spoon-fed every explanation and storyline. Case in point: Percy finally meets Zeus and has to convince him of his innocence:
Percy: "Oh, I didn't steal your bolt, Luke did! He wanted all you Gods to be angry with each other!"
Zeus: "Oh alright, I believe you. Off you go!"
Major plot points are introduced and swept away with in two lines of dialogue all throughout this turd-fest.
All the Gods and creatures seemed VERY underwhelming as far as their actual powers and weapons were concerned. That all-poweful lightning bolt, the most powerful weapon EVER created, exchanged so many hands and no one had the balls to use it for more than a lame, poorly-aimed blast at a wall. Supposedly poweful creatures were effortlessly killed (lazy-ass Minotaur!), and the CGI was so terrible, like, Jumanji-level bad. Not for a second did Uma look like she had an actual head of snakes that wasn't green-screened and animated to death by 1990's-era video game graphics.
The adult casting - Brosnan, Thurman, Coogan, Bean, Dawson, Keener, Pantoliano.....all talented actors in their own rights, simply awful here, although given the script I suppose there wasn't much to do with it.
When a movie is out-and-out bad, that's when you lose interest and pick apart all the little distracting things. Like all the product placements (iPod & Apple, Modern Warfare 2, Converse, Fox, Lady Gaga, just to name a few) and 'hip' lingo that will date this film within a year. This will be a flash-in-the-pan, quick money-grab - they threw away the potential to make this a memorable kids' flick for future generations.
Also, kinda funny - the other night Deril and I were watching something (probably 'Sabretooth') where a character gets into a vehicle that isn't his and doesn't have the keys to, and pulls down the sun visor to find the spare set of keys, and we were like, "NOBODY ever leaves a spare set of keys under the driver's sun visor in the fucking car! WHO does that? A Hollywood-scripted fucking idiot, that's who!"......and low and behold, a character does just that in this piece of shit movie.
Fuck this movie!
"Oh, I'm Medusa, I'm pretty and can be killed by a fucking iPod!"
"Oh, I'm the almighty Zeus but I can't find my own fucking most important weapon in the history of everything!"
"Oh, I'm Hades, I'm a big fucking idiot and can be outwitted by twerps!"
"Oh, I'm James Bond the fucking pantomime horse!"
Fuck this movie, again!!
I'm both simultaneously shocked by the SHEER volume of seething hatred and puzzled by the fact that Mitch even bothered to SEE this movie...WHY?? I mean, there MUST be other films that could've been seen besides this, nu?
I liked it and won't defend it any further.
Amen to THAT brother !
The car key thing was actually from Walking Dead (oddly enough).
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