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1.83
Anacondas 3 : Offspring (2008)

Cast: David Hasselhoff, Crystal Allen, John Rhys-Davies

Director(s): Don E. Fauntleroy

Language: English

Genre: Thriller

Website: Click Here

Synopsis

The ANACONDA series has always been a high point in campy horror. Fortunately, this third entry in the snake saga is no exception. David Hasselhoff joins the fray as Hammett, a renowned snake slayer who's got quite a mess to clean up when two giant anacondas believed by the beautiful Dr. Amanda (Crystal Allen) to hold the cure for a terminal illness break free from their laboratory cages, wreak havoc on civilization and, worst of all, give birth to some equally vicious spawn. The usually cuddly ... [Get complete synopsis]

 

Papamikey wrote on January 5, 2009, 12:50 pm
Rated
Movie #1 in New Years' Manos 2009:

ANACONDAS 3!!

Let's do some math:

CGI GINORMOUS Mutant Anacondas, with blades for tails and LASERS for eyes and when they hiss they shoot bees (most of this is true...some isn't but WHO CARES?)

+

THE HOFF! 50% sober!

+

Some hottie scientist in her hottie scientist TANK-TOP!

-

No removal of said tank top.

+

Gratuitous scenes of Anacondas biting people heads off

-

Walk-ons by crew members searching for the Catoring truck

-

Only about 3 seconds of ACTUAL OFFSPRING before they're blown up (and they weren't at all scary/dangerous...more "CUTE")

+

Six metric tonnes of Romanian extras!

=

THREE STARS??!! EGADS. No...too generous...

I give it 2.5 Stars.

THE HOFFFFFF!

motleymitch wrote on January 5, 2009, 3:25 pm
Rated
Agreed!
Two words: 'Anacondas' & 'Hasselhoff'.
Really, what more could you ask for?
The babe was a hottie (despite lack of shirtlessness), the snake was big and CGI'd and hungry, and the Hoff was splendidly um...grizzled-looking? Yeah, that about sums it up.
Hammy acting from all over, including a toupéed and tired-looking John Rhys Davies ("Asps! Very dangerous! You go first!").
And it leaves room for "Anaconda 4: Trail of Blood", whose release date was 2008, meaning it should be available for the next Manos fest!
The babe and JRD reprise their respective roles too.....

Jefferygn wrote on January 6, 2009, 4:51 am
Rated
I cannot add much more of substance to Mitchy's and Mikey's comments...

Great promise: how could Hasselhof and CGI'd snakes go wrong? But let down we all were.

A special note however, for the crew member walking through the background of a scene. Thanks for noticing eagle-eye Mikey!

What's your rating of this movie?

 

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