|Cast: Mike Myers, Jessica Alba, Justin Timberlake, Romany Malco, Meagan Good, Verne Troyer, Ben Kingsley, Rob Blake, Bob Probert, Stephen Colbert|
Director(s): Marco Schnabel
The previews themselves make me want to ETB this one. Easily a candidate for my 'Dances With Wolves' list, i.e. no way in hell I am seeing this crap.
Myers re-doing all his previous shtick is one thing (70's style-era spoofing, Verne Troyer getting kicked around, foreign accent to make up for lame jokes), but making it his personal mission to make a movie where the Leafs win the cup can blow me.
Enjoy it, Leafs Nation! It'll be the only time you'll see them win in your lifetime!
I was discussing this with my father-in-law over breakfast: he wanted to know what the movie was about.
Basically, I summed it up as:
The guy who does Shrek plays an Indian Love Guru, who pisses off 99% of all hindus in the world, is hired by the Maple Leafs to help them win the cup, which pisses off 99% of all Canadians.
Because, let's face facts: ALL Canadians HATE the Leafs.
It's a fact.
Yeah, and all this nonsense about "It's every Canadian kids' dream blah blah blah..."
FUCK YOU! Every Canadian kids' dream is to beat the living snot out of Darcy Tucker.
fuck this shit.
ETB based on the preview (I've never done it before but....
Can I bitch about one more thing?
I hate how the NHL and similar sports web pages are hyping the hell out of this film. Every time I check out NHL.com or TSN.ca or whatever, there's a big picture of Mike Myers sucking Sundin's dick or something. ENOUGH already!
At the time I write this, I am beaming with schadenfreude as the tomatometer has this film at 11% and Ebert gave it one star. Woo-hoo!
Boy, those Germans have a word for everything
Alright I have to ask: What is ETB??
You don't know yet???
ETB = Enough To Bomb.
i.e. - I only watched 10 minutes of this shitstorm called "Indiana Jones And The Kingdom Of The Crystal Skull", but decided that it was ETB.
OK - hear me out here...
First off: WHY OH WHY OHHHH WHY did I have a sudden URGE to see this film? Was it because it was free?! Well, that HELPED but not the reason...
I DO have a soft-spot for Mike Myers' comedy though concur the schtick is getting stale...
I thought Austin Powers (1 through 15) were indeed funny (on a VERY sliding scale) but were funny because they were purile in an ADULT kinda way...a guilty pleasure.
THIS movie sucked. Terrible suck.
I don't think I laughed once. No wait - check that - I DID laugh when the movie announced the Leafs won the cup. NOW THAT IS INSPIRED COMEDY.
I mean, how many "big dinky" jokes can you cram in 1.5 hours??! And they were pretty much ON that level: "Ohh! LOOK! He's got a BIG DINKY! Tee hee hee!" The jokes were CHILDISH purile and NOT FUNNY.
What a train-wreck of a film.
And they had MANY MANY stars from Stewart/Colbert (INCLUDING COLBERT HIMSELF!!)....simply a waste.
Honestly - this was the highest level joke of the film: The Love Guru would greet everyone by bowing in prayer and saying "MariskaHargitay" as if it were some Indian spiritual greeting.
What are the ODDS that he runs into the actual Mariska Hargitay?!
Do I NEED a spoiler alert on this?!
WHAT was I thinking?!?
I haven't seen the movie, nor do I suspect will I ever. But, I will say this: that Mariska Hargitay is freakin' hawte. I used to watch L&O SVU just to drool!
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