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Fire Serpent (2006)

Cast: Nicholas Brendon, Sandrine Holt, Randolph Mantooth, Robert Beltran

Director(s): John Terlesky,

Language: English

Genre: Science Fiction

Website: Click Here

Synopsis

Alien creatures emerge from the sun and attack Earth

 

Deril wrote on June 6, 2007, 10:05 pm
Rated
ugh!

Watched as much as I could before and during the hockey game. It's not that it was SOOOOOO bad, but it was poorly made. direction, f/x, writing, acting..all low budget. Within seconds it looked Canadian, turns out it was filmed in Hamilton.The "Fire Snakes" were just not cool looking at all. Could have been better with a better budget.

This was laughably bad. Mitch, if it's on the dish again, I'll PVR it so we can watch and laugh at the badness.
motleymitch wrote on June 7, 2007, 2:58 am
Comment
I heard it's terrible...I'll be right over!
MasterWoodsman wrote on June 9, 2007, 12:58 am
Comment
The shame of it all.....
Papamikey wrote on June 13, 2007, 3:16 pm
Comment
Oh.

This JUST popped up on my Rogers on Demand.

SO going to watch this based on prior reviews!

Mine will be pending...

Mikey!
Level 70 Rogue
Level 34 Shaman
Papamikey wrote on June 13, 2007, 3:19 pm
Comment
Personally, ANYTHING involving "Randy Mantooth" gets AT LEAST a half-star right out of the gates!!!

Deril wrote on June 14, 2007, 12:24 pm
Comment
when's it on? I want to tape it for Mitch
Papamikey wrote on June 14, 2007, 4:22 pm
Comment
It's on Rogers on Demand (Channel 308)...I just boot it up and press play.

Sheesh.

Such a silly lad.

motleymitch wrote on June 14, 2007, 7:55 pm
Comment
Well, I'm at my brother's right now, sitting at the computer in the basement, and he turns on the TV and says, "Well look what's on!".

*SIGH*

Review pending!
MasterWoodsman wrote on June 15, 2007, 2:16 pm
Comment
34 shaman what?

I've finally past 50!
Papamikey wrote on June 15, 2007, 3:04 pm
Comment
What what?

Level 34 Draneai (sp?) Shaman...

50?!?! PFFFT! Call me when you're 70 and your ALT is 50....
motleymitch wrote on June 15, 2007, 3:57 pm
Rated
Hey losers, save it for your WOW chatspace...we have more pressing matters to attend to here....like, FIRE SERPENT!!

Dear lord, this was atrocious.
The big special effect was....wait for it....FIRE!
And it was badly CGI-rendered to boot. Yes, Man's oldest discovery is apparently too hard to adapt to screen for a shitty Hamilton-based movie.
The 'serpent' in question was blurringly visible - along the lines of 'Alien 3000' meets 'Stargate SG-1' quality.
The big counter-weapon? A water gun!! OooOOoohh!!
And equally quality dialogue such as:

Man 1: "Let me use the gun!"
Man 2: "But you don't know if it will work!"
Man 1: "I know that!"

Look off-screen and yell! Okay, cut to CGI fireball, okay cut to CGI fire effects SUPERIMPOSED over the on-screen happenings, okay cut to character's eyes glowing, okay cut to the most wooden acting this side of Pinocchio, okay cut to army general character played by a 19 year old......oy! Such dreck!

Officer #1: We're taking the entire sixth fleet to Candy Island?
Officer #2: Those are the Admiral's orders!
[The Admiral is revealed to be a diapered baby in a crib wearing the appropriate hat and jacket. He loses balance and falls over to a laugh track and funny noises, while the Simpsons look on uninterestedly.]
Marge: It's hard to believe someone that young could have risen to the rank of Admiral.

Anyways, pretty much what I'd expected per Deril's scathing review, so whaddaya gonna do?
Papamikey wrote on June 15, 2007, 5:34 pm
Comment
Now the burning question (*GROOOAN*) is:

DO I STILL WATCH IT!?!?!

I think the answer is obvious...

OH FUCK YES ME!!!

MasterWoodsman wrote on June 16, 2007, 12:31 am
Comment
Yeesh.. Looks like complete crap!

How you boys can waste your time on crap like this is beyond me......


You should be wasting your time on WOW.

PS: Draenei Shammies are Posers! Tauren Shammies are the Real Thing!

Papamikey wrote on June 16, 2007, 7:34 am
Comment
Hordies are all the same, so surly and "evil". They're fun to taunt...

Mikey: /hi
Hordie: /rasp /slap /setthinghatred
Mikey: /kiss
Hordie: /slep/slap/slap /spit /vomit
Mikey: /hug & /kiss
Hordie: (explodes trying to "appear" mean and nasty)

Anyhoo, all that is for not 'cuz I FINALLY
FIIIINNNNAAAALLLYYYY
got my first EPIC DROP!!!! After 105 levels!!!

And it turns out to be a warrior ring.

Sigh.

Ah well, now I'm 400GP richer! DING!
motleymitch wrote on June 16, 2007, 10:53 am
Comment

Papamikey wrote on June 16, 2007, 1:24 pm
Comment
Sheetep sheeten epp...

MasterWoodsman wrote on June 16, 2007, 8:12 pm
Comment
OMG! We're Ruined the Fire Serpent Thread!!!!

We're gonna BURN IN HELL!

MasterWoodsman wrote on June 16, 2007, 10:33 pm
Comment
Mikey: Which way are you speccing? I've done Enhancement and it's pretty kick ass for solo (PVE). If you need help, I got a good Shammy wiki for ya.
Papamikey wrote on June 19, 2007, 9:00 pm
Rated
BOMB!??

BOOOOMMMMMBBB!?!?!?

What the jeebus are you guys smoking?!?! This was CLASSIC!!! LOOOLLL!!! PPPPOOOLLLL!!!

Their eyes GLOWED with EEEVVIILL fire!!! LOOOLLL!! And then BIZZZZT! And the girl was in half!! LLLOOOLLL!!!!

I'm STILL LAUGHING!!!

I fell asleep half way through woke up at the end and STILL was able to follow the plot!! OMG!! This was the BEST!

And Commander Chakotay was in it as the "pseudo-evil boss with his own agenda"!!!

MORE!!! Must have Fire Serpent 2!!!!!

OMG!!! POLLL!!!!

motleymitch wrote on June 20, 2007, 2:49 am
Comment
You sir, are an idiot.

Papamikey wrote on June 20, 2007, 9:07 am
Comment
YOU sir, are NOT an avid conaisseur of schmaltz!!

Come on! This is Boa vs. Python only the pythons are on FIRE! Though, there admittedly was MUCH less farty soap.....

And YOU want to watch Gingerdead Man with me?!
motleymitch wrote on June 20, 2007, 10:11 am
Comment
Again, it's just that fiiiiiiine line between Boa Vs. Python/ Full Moooooon goodness and Alien 3000/Raging Sharks horrendousness.
This film is the latter.
At least throw in a monkey or something!
motleymitch wrote on June 20, 2007, 10:12 am
Comment

Papamikey wrote on June 20, 2007, 11:22 am
Comment
True enough!

Seems all the "good" cheese is made in Romania/Bulgaria!

Except for Bloodrayne....that's the EXCEPTION to the rule.....

FACK YOU UWE BOLLLLLL!!!!!
MasterWoodsman wrote on June 20, 2007, 11:15 pm
Comment
All I can say is....

With posts like this, how can we NOT be more popular????

(Sarcasm was off, btw. I'm aware it's a bit hard to detect over ASCII type.....)

motleymitch wrote on June 21, 2007, 3:14 am
Comment
Honestly, I mean, who comments and posts about more zombies and monkeys than we do? No one, that's who!!

MasterWoodsman wrote on June 21, 2007, 10:48 pm
Comment
Let's rename ourselves.....

ZOMBIE MONKIES OF TASTE!!!!

motleymitch wrote on June 22, 2007, 3:16 am
Comment
That should be Zombie Monkies Of Little Or No Taste.
(ZMOLONT???.......eh, maybe not.)

What's your rating of this movie?

 

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